Tuesday, October 27, 2015

Handsomeness vs Homosexuality

Again, driving our 9-year-old to karate, I asked our son about a question he had brought up a few nights ago. That conversation led to this exchange.

K: There's a lot of talk about gay. Like, that's so gay.
Me: Do you remember what gay means?
K: Yeah, it means not cool.
Me: Do you remember what else it means?
K: Yeah, it means a boy likes a boy.
Me: Yes, or a girl likes a girl.
K: Mom, I think Cory (name changed) is handsome. He's going to have a lot of girls like him.
Me: Do you think that might be what gay means?
K: Yeah.
Me: Actually, gay is more like if you are a boy and want to kiss a boy. Or, you are a girl and want to kiss a girl.
K: Eeewww.
Me: Well, some people feel that way. If you think a boy is handsome without wanting to do something like kiss him, then you are just noticing he's nice looking. That doesn't mean you are gay. I notice when girls are beautiful. But, I don't want to spend extra time with them or kiss them. I just appreciate how beautiful they are. God made our bodies to look like his and we can notice how beautiful or handsome God made anyone. That's different from wanting to kiss and marry someone that's a boy.
K: Okay. That makes sense.
Me: God's plan is that our bodies were designed to be boys or girls for a reason. Boys and girls' bodies are made to fit together and be together to form strong, happy families. Some people don't believe the same way we do and we need to be kind and respectful to them. But, we can also live the way we believe by creating a family. If you ever feel like your body is telling you to be one way or another, you can come talk to me about it. I love you.
K: Okay. Thanks.

He seemed relieved. He was probably unsure of what it meant for him to think someone was attractive that was the same sex. This is a HUGE hurdle for children in our modern world because it's becoming "cool" in middle and high school to be homosexual. But, most of them don't really understand what it means as a tween or early teen. Some older teens may even struggle to really understand what it means. This is a time when they are searching for who they are and what they want to become. They worry that just because they are checking someone out that's the same sex to see if they are developing like others of the same sex means they might be homosexual. Or, they notice someone is attractive that's the same sex. These conversations about homosexuality always need to be filled with positive values, like reinforcing the Plan of Salvation. But, they also need to be free of judgment against homosexuality because your child needs to know they can talk to you if it turns out they do have homosexual feelings.

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