Wednesday, September 16, 2015

Sex is the Sugar

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This summer I was able to go to Girl's Camp with the youth at our church. I was asked to speak about dating and chastity. I love teaching about these topics, but I usually teach adults. I came up with some ideas for the youth. One of the analogies for sex, relationships, and dating used cookies. I had all the ingredients to make cookies, plus homemade chocolate chip cookies as an example of the end product. I started off by asking the girls which they would rather have:

A cookie or plain sugar?

Of course, 99% of the girls chose cookies.


Because cookies are more satisfying! I'll keep the analogy simple here because my point is beyond the analogy.

The analogy was that when we date, we gather all our ingredients for our cookies (or the traits we want in a marital partner). We learn what we like best and what traits go best with our goal (like finding all the ingredients for our favorite cookie). Then, when we're ready for marriage, we mix all the ingredients together and find that one person that creates our most satisfying relationship (the cookie!).

Well, I used sex as the sugar in our cookies. After the presentation one of the adults told me I should have used vanilla as the sex part of our cookie analogy because it smells good, but doesn't taste good. I disagreed.

Here's my point: Sex is the SUGAR!!!!! It does taste good by itself (just like sex feels good, even without a relationship. Our bodies were meant to enjoy this particular type of touch). But, just like cookies are more satisfying when the sugar is mixed with other ingredients, we are more satisfied in our spirit and body when we are able to enjoy sex within the context of a marital union. We can eat sugar all by itself, but most people don't crave sugar; they crave the desserts that are enhanced by sugar. We can have sex all by itself, without a relationship, but most people crave the long lasting relationship that is enhanced by sex.

I fear that often we teach youth that sex is not good, unless it is in a marital relationship (rather than that sex is good when it is used to enhance a marital relationship). Then, they wonder why they are so overcome with cravings. They wonder why they are sexually attracted to another person or fear they are being unrighteous just because they are having feelings of sexual attraction. Sexual attraction is not the sin. Arousing sexual feelings in another person or yourself is the sin. Sex is good, but it is designed to enhance the marital experience. These feelings are GOOD! They just need put on the counter until all the ingredients are in place to make the most wonderful dessert that is sweet AND satisfying. Keep the tone positive for our youth! Sex is the SUGAR!!!!

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