Tuesday, July 7, 2015
Yesterday our daughter was having her dance pictures taken. On the way home we were talking about the friends she has made in her dance class.
Me: You have some new friends you've made this year in your dance class. It looks like you have lots of fun with Sarah (name changed).
A: Yeah. All the girls in my class are nice, except sometimes Ariel
(name changed) tickles me and I tell her I don't like it. She doesn't stop.
Me: What do you do when she doesn't stop?
A: She does it all the time. One time I told the teacher. She had to sit out from some fun stuff.
Me: It's hard to tell the teacher when someone does something that you don't like, especially when it's a friend. I'm glad you stood up for yourself.
A: What does that mean?
Me: Well, it means you tell other people what you do or don't like in a nice, but firm way. You say, "I don't like it when you do that. I need you to stop right now" ( I said this in a firm tone, not yelling, but an "I mean business tone." For those of you that know our daughter, she is so sweet and soft spoken. It's a stretch to get her to use a tone like this.)
A: I don't want to be mean!
Me: If you really don't like something, or someone is hurting you, this is not a mean voice. You are not yelling or saying unkind things. You are telling them that you really mean what you say.
Me: It's unkind for them to not listen to you when you are telling them you don't like something or something is hurting you.
A: I only told the teacher one time.
Me: I'm glad you told her that one time. I hope you keep trying to let this friend know you don't like it in a firm way. You can always move away and tell her you will stand by her again when she listens to you.
Appropriate touch click here.