Tuesday, July 7, 2015

Standing Up

Yesterday our daughter was having her dance pictures taken. On the way home we were talking about the friends she has made in her dance class.

Me: You have some new friends you've made this year in your dance class. It looks like you have lots of fun with Sarah (name changed).
A: Yeah. All the girls in my class are nice, except sometimes Ariel
(name changed) tickles me and I tell her I don't like it. She doesn't stop.
Me: What do you do when she doesn't stop?
A: She does it all the time. One time I told the teacher. She had to sit out from some fun stuff.
Me: It's hard to tell the teacher when someone does something that you don't like, especially when it's a friend. I'm glad you stood up for yourself.
A: What does that mean?
Me: Well, it means you tell other people what you do or don't like in a nice, but firm way. You say, "I don't like it when you do that. I need you to stop right now" ( I said this in a firm tone, not yelling, but an "I mean business tone." For those of you that know our daughter, she is so sweet and soft spoken. It's a stretch to get her to use a tone like this.)
A: I don't want to be mean!
Me: If you really don't like something, or someone is hurting you, this is not a mean voice. You are not yelling or saying unkind things. You are telling them that you really mean what you say.
A: Oh.
Me: It's unkind for them to not listen to you when you are telling them you don't like something or something is hurting you.
A: I only told the teacher one time.
Me: I'm glad you told her that one time. I hope you keep trying to let this friend know you don't like it in a firm way. You can always move away and tell her you will stand by her again when she listens to you.
A: Yeah.

Appropriate touch click here.

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