In talking with some youth, and a comment made by one of my husband's students, I have come to see the reality that the "sexual revolution" where parents are taught that youth should have sex when they feel ready is absolutely misstated. Current sex experts say that you should teach your youth to know when they are ready to have sex and then let them explore when they feel ready. But, I see a problem, and not just because I'm religious.
Let's use the "Best Night of a Teenager's Life" (for some) as an illustration: Senior Prom. Many teenagers look forward to Senior Prom throughout high school. There are elaborate means of requesting a date. Then, more elaborate means of answering the date. There is the choosing of the "perfect" outfit and corsage/boutonniere. There are activities to engage in during the day, before the dance. There is a lot of food, fun, dancing, laughter, and excitement.
Then, after the dance, there is the "hotel room." Couples get together and pay for a hotel room and take turns using it. The sad part is that many youth don't really know whether they are ready to have sex yet. Senior Prom has become an initiation into the world of sex, whether youth are ready or not. Because of this attitude that youth SHOULD have sex when they are "ready," many youth don't really have all the tools they need to say no when there's peer pressure. If they have "decided" that they will wait to have sex until they are ready, they begin to question their readiness if they are placed in a situation like Senior Prom night. It's expected. It's part of the experience. They are almost out of school and so close to being an "adult." This is evidenced by the phrase, "I think I'm ready." But, youth who have decided they will wait until they are married to have sex have a very definitive readiness. They will not be swayed because they already know how long they will wait. If a youth makes the decision to "wait until they are ready," they are constantly trying to figure out "readiness" and may make a mistake. They are young. They are inexperienced. They do make mistakes. I would rather my youth not make that kind of mistake, just because it's Senior Prom. I want my kids to say, "I KNOW I'm ready." Not, "I THINK I'm ready."