Sunday, February 23, 2014

The Love Piece: Part 3

As one of my friend's pointed out, it can be difficult to teach a child about how sex is for making babies. It's significantly harder to explain how sex is for strengthening a marriage. You can't ignore it, though. If you think about your child's world, you'll realize that 99.9% of what they see in the world is not about having sex to make a baby. It's having sex for passion, romance, and relationships. You have to teach them the right reasons for having sex as you teach them about sex.

A friend of mine explained sex to her 9-year-old daughter. Here are some of the questions she got:
What day did you get pregnant with me? (she figured her parent had sex one time to become pregnant with her because sex was explained in the context of making babies (which is not wrong). She was ready for more information).

My friend explained that you can have sex more than just one time:
How often do people have sex?
Why would you have sex when you're already pregnant?

How would you answer these questions?!?!?!?

Since teaching children about the strengthening power of sex can be tricky, I'll try to give you an idea. You can hopefully take this idea and modify it for your own children. It is NOT appropriate to tell your child how often you have sex and how good it feels to you. Those details of intimacy are for you and your husband.

Here's a sounding board for how you might answer, or teach the strengthening power and love piece of sex:
First, think of the child you are teaching. What do they do when they are excited or have done something fantastic? Do they want a hug or a high five or some other connection? Often, children want something physical like that. Think of something they did to make them want this hug or high-five. It could be winning a game, doing homework correctly, learning or doing something new.........

Ask them how they knew they wanted a hug or high-five. Usually it's because they are feeling very happy and want to share that happiness with someone they love. It reminds them that you love them and are happy for them and you know they love you because they want to share this with you.

Then, explain that sex is special for a relationship when you're married because you like to share good and happy times with a special physical touch that is only for marriage (like when your child had a good time and wanted to share it with you). It helps both mom and dad feel even happier about their relationship and desire to help and love one another, just like a hug or high-five lets the child know that you are excited for their accomplishment and it helps your love grow.

Sex is great for strengthening marriage. If your child understands at a young age, the positive power of sex in a marriage, they will probably be more likely to want to wait to share this power in a marriage.

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